It’s the God in Me
Have you ever struggled with your identity? I’m only twenty-two and I can honestly say I have probably gone through so many “who am I?” seasons that I could possibly pass as crazy. I vividly remember when I was thirteen trying different clothing styles, becoming friends with people that were the complete opposite of me, and listening to different music genres, just to get some idea of who Ciera is. I was thirteen and clearly that was a monumental age in my book. I thought I had to know who I was. I also thought I would figure it out right then and there. I wish I could tell you why I have always had this obsession with identity. I want to say that it came from a good place, such as I was reading my bible and wanted to know who God created me to be. I would be lying though. I was obsessed with seeing other people “have it together”. This is why they say with age comes wisdom because clearly whoever I was looking at when I was that age, certainly did not have it together.
At seventeen I went to college and this Identity crisis of mine grew. I saw all the beautiful, stylish, intelligent women and I just KNEW that they absolutely had it together. Now, this is what life is like when you are unsure of yourself (at least for me). I was constantly looking at everything and everyone around of me. Even when it came to myself, it was always about “what do I see when I look in the mirror?”. Imagine trying to figure out who you are by looking at everybody else rather than the one who created you. The funny part about the entire thing is, I was giving advice to other females about finding their identity in Christ and knowing who God created them to be when I hadn’t even believed it for myself. GIRL, at this point I can’t help but to laugh. God truly has a funny way of doing things.
I’m not sure if you are familiar with the book of Exodus or not (if you aren’t I highly recommend). We find God calling on a man named Moses to fill a leadership position [Exodus 3 & 4]. This call didn’t come through on FaceTime or on Linked In, but from a burning bush (can you imagine?). So Moses is basically in an interview for a job he never even applied for. Better yet, he didn’t even have the qualifications for the position. See Moses had a speaking problem and God was calling him to go speak to Pharaoh to free the people of Israel (aka the Lord’s people). Which causes Moses to question God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt” [Exodus 3:11].
I can’t help but to see myself in this story. Just about all of my life I have struggled with identity. In the midst of trying to find who I am, here God is calling me to help women find their identity. What is the key theme here? It is often your weakness that will be used for your calling. Moses is just one example of this. There are so many stories where he changes the identity of those he has called. Through out the entire book, God reminds Moses of two things. One, that He is with him and two, He is I am. Which means, He is everything Moses (you & I) will ever need. So, in this story we find a man who is unqualified and who has defined himself by his weakness be called by God. Moses even asks God how will he lead with a speaking issue? In which the Lord responds by asking him, “who is it that placed a mouth on humans, or gives them ability to speak and hear?”. How I read it the Lord basically said, “Boy, if you don’t recognize who created you and who is with you. Go, I got you!!”.
I don’t want to spoil the book of Exodus; I rather you truly experience it for yourself. Minor spoiler alert though, God does everything he promised Moses He would do. You see Moses’ narrative change from ‘who am I?’ to ‘He Is’. It was no longer about the human strength or qualifications of Moses, it was who was with/in him that created an identity shift. What I failed to mention is that not to long before God called Moses, he had just killed a man. His sin became known to the people of Egypt and Pharaoh had set out to kill him so he fled. Sis, that right there just makes me want to shout!!!! You mean to tell me that not only did God use a sinner, but he also commanded him to confront the man who attempted to kill him. If you do not take anything else away from this blog hear me when I say this — there is not a thing about you that could hinder you from God’s plan for your life. No insecurity, lack of qualifications, or even the mistakes you have made. NOTHING sis! He created you, He knows every weakness and every flaw, and He still wants to use you. Allow him to take your messes and turn them into miracles.
I can tell you right now I have made some terrible decisions more times than I’d like to admit (we will get into that another day girl). I would allow the enemy to make me believe I was no longer useful. How could I lead with a past like mine? I let the insecurities of all my mistakes become my identity. I don’t know what you have done in your life or if you are experiencing a similar feeling, but let me tell you where we are going wrong. It was never about me, and it will never be about me, but all about the God in me. It is evident that my flesh alone is not qualified for the calling on my life, whatsoever. But the same God that called me is the same God that lives and dwells inside of me. The word says that He becomes strong in our weakness. So, this means that you better boast in every area that you are weak or have failed. God is allll in the midst of that thing and you have His strength. In other words you can do ALL things THROUGH Christ. The next time you do not feel like you are enough remember it is not you, but Him who is in you.
So how do we become like Moses? How can we say yes and walk in obedience to what he is calling us to do even when we don’t feel qualified?
- Be Aware. – Moses witnessed a burning bush and saw that it had not been consumed and wanted to check it out [Exodus 3:2-3]. It may not be a burning bush but be aware of the Lord trying to grab your attention.
- Have Faith. – This is often easier said than done, but faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. Learn to trust God with the areas of your life you have a hard time letting go of.
- Stay in the Presence of the Lord. – all through out Exodus Moses spends time with God. He talks to him about everything (if you didn’t know this already, God wants you to come to him about everything, even the small stuff). By spending time with God he learned more of His character. The more he knew who God was, the more he was able to trust Him and become secure in his calling. This result of this was OBEDIENCE.
Blessings flow from obedience. I will tell you right now, some of the things God asks you to do is going to hurt, not make any sense, and feel impossible. I am a living testimony that disobedience will cause you to experience a season of hardships that God never intended for you to experience. It was not until later that I realized, I would have rather trusted God in that moment than choose to allow fear keep me from what He was calling me to. And I hate to break it to you, but you can try to deny Him all you want. The Lord will have His way. Take my advice girl, just go ahead and be obedient on the first call.
So, remember that identity crisis I was talking about? Well, that is my weakness for sure. BUT GOD. I no longer look at everything and everyone else around me. I look at the One who not only called me, but created me. The more you know Him, the more you understand who you are and what you are capable of. Sis, you too, are called by your creator. There are no more excuses to delay us from the blessings God has for us on the other side of our obedience.
And when they ask “How is someone like her walking in her purpose?”
we will just tell them… “It’s the God in me.”
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me… for when I am weak, then I am strong
2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10
He answered “therefore, go. I am sending you.”
“I will certainly be with you and this will be a sign to you that I am the one who sent you, when you bring the people out of Egypt, you all will worship God on this mountain.”
Exodus 3:10 & 12
